Baby Boomer Psychopath: What Happened To Tanya Harding?

Posted on May 14th, 2015 in 1990s,Celebrities,Crime,Pop Culture by Terry Hamburg

I’ve been skating on thin ice ever since “The Incident,” where I plopped on the cover of Time and Newsweek. I always wanted to be a baby boomer celebrity, but not by turning into a pop culture crime piñata.

Hey, remember I was the best American figure skater of the 1990s, doing circle 8s around all those cuties who came before me.

I won a U.S. Championship and placed second in the World Championship. I was the first ever to do a triple axel combination with a double toe loop. That’s what you should remember, not what my low-life ex-husband did to that snooty princess, Nancy Kerrigan.

Tanya and Nancy

I had nada to do with the attack, but I was still charged with a crime. I paid my debt to society—and continue to pay every frickin’ day. I can’t skate in official tournaments, and even sleaze bags won’t hire me for shows.

My dreams of a movie or music career fizzled. I turned to boxing and was frickin’ good. I beat the stuffing out of Paula Jones, one of Bill Clinton’s main squeezes, in a 2002 celebrity fight. Yeah, she was 10 years older but Paula was one tough old broad. I had to quit that career because of asthma.

When I make a mistake, I’m fodder for the tabloids. Baby boomers eat that stuff up. I wish you could know the real me.

You hear about my alcohol abuse, domestic disputes, one pornography movie, and my music group that quit after we were booed off stage. Or my “wild” crime spree: a DUI (who doesn’t?), a drug arrest (more unlucky than bad), and, get this: a three days jail stint for a fourth degree assault (heck, you could hit someone with a wet noodle and get that charge!).

Does anyone write about how my mouth-to-mouth resuscitation saved an 81 year-old great grandma who collapsed while playing video poker at a bar?

Hey, maybe it’s true there’s no such thing as bad publicity. The more my mug is out there, the better my chances to make a living. Thank you, President Obama! During the 2008 election he invoked my memory by declaring that as much as Hillary attacked him there was no way “he goes and kneecaps the person ahead of us, doing a Tanya Harding.”

Oh well, as the song goes, “I will survive.” And as I say on my web site: “I am the girl that made Figure Skating the runner up to pro football in American television ratings.”

If you can’t stay away, here’s a link to my personal website→ Tanya

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